Heritage Gateways

Margaret Clark Journals

May 16, 1997

Location: Maxwell, Nebraska - Location: 41:04:44N 100:31:28W Elevation: 2711 feet

Summary: On husbands and sacrifice.

Journal entry: I miss you.

If we had been alive in 1847 and I were married to you, you would be called away. The prophet would say, "The Lord needs you." and you would go.

Go? Go where?

In 1846-47 there were all kinds of places for the men to go. You would go to England or Germany on a mission. Or maybe to Tennessee.

You might pick up a rifle and march away with many other brethren.

You would be called the Mormon Battalion and you would move through the Southwest part of this land. You would end up in California. You would serve your country in a uniform.

Or you might leave with a wagon train just as our great great grandfathers did. You would be the beginning of a great westward movement of people seeking religious freedom.

You would serve gladly and you would serve with honor.

And I would be without you.

And I would miss you.

Today is 1997. You are home and I am here on the wagon train. I followed my heart and became a pioneer. I sleep under the stars. I sleep in the cold. Rain falls on my tarp and my bonnet. Mud covers my shoes. My feet are blistered. The wind whips my hair into a tangled nest as I wipe the dust from my eyes with my muslin apron.

I write you letters and ring you up on the phone. We send e-mail to each other and discuss work and friends and family and mortgages.

The world is different.

The world is the same.

I miss you.