July 11, 1997
Location: Piedmont, Wyoming - Between Fort Bridger and Bear River Crossing.
Summary: On being alone.
Journal entry: This evening I am feeling very alone. I am one of the many orphans on the trail. I feel as though I belong on the trail, yet I do not belong to anyone.
We went out for a shower. (Nathan, Justin, Heber, Cyndi and Amy.) We went to a truck stop. We were so desperate for a shower. We got lost on the way back. We couldn't find camp. We were lost on a bunch of dusty country roads. We saw a bunch of places that looked really scary - the types of places that spark the imagination.
By the time we got back it was 11 PM. No one would worry about me. I just flit around doing my own thing and work or play. Everyone assumes that I am fine. It's great that they have this confidence in my ability to take care of myself, but it's nice to have someone worry about you sometimes too. There is one drawback to being alone- then families out here do things such as going to town for anything. Supplies, showers- anything. We orphans are forgotten sometimes. It's not that it happens on purpose, but it happens none the less. It wouldn't be so bad if I had my car out here. Then I wouldn't have to rely on other people. I am a very independant person.
That has been my greatest challenge on the trek--accepting help from other people rather than giving it most the time Last night I let myself be dumb and wallow in self pity. I suppose everyone does this every once in while. This was my time. I don't do this very often. Everyone know me out here as the happy-go-lucky Wendy. Kind of like the energizer bunny. I'm happy around camp and people can't tell if I'm sick or tired. That has either been a blessing or a downfall. It's been a blessing for others, and a downfall for me because I'm cheating myself in that people do not get to know all the different aspects of me. I don't know exactly how to go about changing that. We'll see what we can do.
I got to sleep around 12 midnight because I am writing in my journal and then wake up between 5-6 am. This could be one major reason that I am running out of steam.
We went around 22 miles today. I rode in Paul's wagon. I rode in front until break. It was a beautiful day. There was a cloudy overcast. Okay it was cloudy and cold, but still a wonderful day. It feels like May. I tried to sleep some in the wagon. It didn't work very well. I held Libbie because she was crying because her earache hurt.